VNJ Volume 39 (6) December 2024 | Page 13

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Saying Goodbye is also the name of Zoe Clarke-Coates ' pregnancy loss charity , also known as the Mariposa Trust , which provides support and guidance for those affected by baby loss , at any stage of pregnancy , at birth or in infancy , whether the loss be recent or historic . It also organises Saying Goodbye remembrance services around the UK and internationally .
The most important thing is to take each day as it comes . Some days , I wake up with a fire in me , I ' m ready to fight for myself and get answers , and fight for others to improve support and break the taboo . Other days , I can only manage to drag myself out of bed , get to work and do the bare minimum needed that day .
A pregnancy loss is something no one should ever have to go through . It ' s common for us to blame ourselves and wonder how things would be if we had or hadn ' t done something differently . However , there ' s rarely anything we could have done to cause or change the outcome . So , be kind to yourself and remember that you are an amazing person and you deserve happiness , even if you don ' t find it in the way you ' d planned .
My journey is far from over . I ' m undergoing tests related to my recurrent miscarriages and , like many other women in my situation , am questioning what my future holds . But the possibility that this article could help even just one woman experiencing pregnancy loss to feel less alone brings me comfort .
REFERENCES
1 Miscarriage Association . Miscarriage and the workplace . Available from : http :// www . miscarriageassociation . org . uk / miscarriage-andthe-workplace [ Accessed 2 December 2023 ].
2 Miscarriage Association . Missed misscarriage . Available from : http :// www . miscarriageassociation . org . uk / information / miscarriage / missed-miscarriage [ Accessed 2 December 2023 ].
3 Miscarriage Association . Types of pregnancy loss . Available from : http :// www . miscarriageassociation . org . uk / information / worriedabout-pregnancy-loss / types-of-pregnancy-loss [ Accessed 2 December 2023 ].
4 Imperial News . Miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy may trigger longterm post-traumatic stress . Available from : https :// www . imperial . ac . uk / news / 194715 / miscarriage-ectopic-pregnancy-trigger-longterm-post-traumatic [ Accessed 13 January 2024 ].
5 Imperial News . Vets have twice the risk of miscarriage if they do not protect themselves from occupational hazards . Available from : https :// www . imperial . ac . uk / news / 33134 / vets-have-twice-riskmiscarriage-they [ Accessed 13 January 2024 ].
6 NHS . Talking therapies for anxiety and depression . Available from : https :// www . nhs . uk / mental-health / talking-therapies-medicinetreatments / talking-therapies-and-counselling / nhs-talkingtherapies [ Accessed 2 December 2023 ].
7 Miscarriage Association . Miscarriage forum . Available from : http :// www . miscarriageassociation . org . uk / miscarriage-forum [ Accessed 2 December 2023 ].
Links to support http :// www . miscarriageassociation . org . uk https :// www . tommys . org Vet MINDS Facebook group https :// www . mariposatrust . org https :// www . sayinggoodbye . org https :// theworstgirlgangever . co . uk https :// www . sands . org . uk
Further reading
It ' s OK That You ' re Not OK . Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn ' t Understand by Megan Devine ( 2017 )
Saying Goodbye by Zoe Clark-Coates ( 2017 ) It Will Happen by Laura Buckingham ( 2020 )

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Volume 39 ( 6 ) • December 2024
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